Reggie's Wise Guy Jokes Vol 1 51 Low Grade (1979)

• 1 Hole Control +
  Reggie and Veronica are seen on a frisbee golf course, with Reggie tossing the frisbee into the basket. Reggie comments to Veronica that he has to do well on the next hole to beat Jughead. Reggie tosses the frisbee again, and as he's wondering where it landed, Jughead tells him he got a hole in one. In the last panel, Jughead points to Reggie's frisbee, which has landed in a trash can, and confirms that Reggie got a hole in one - only that it was in the wrong hole.
• 2 Court Retort +
  Veronica and Reggie are on the tennis court, and Veronica mentions that she's trying to drop 10 pounds. Reggie then tells her how she can drop 150 pounds - stop dating Archie.
• 3 Chicken Licken +
  Jughead tells Betty that he has to do a biology report on Chickens. He asks Reggie how fast a chicken runs. Reggie says he doesn't know, and then asks Archie how fast he can run the 100 (meter dash).
• 4 Mad Lad +
  Reggie is laying on the beach, when Moose storms up behind him saying that he's going to bop Reggie for kissing Midge last winter. Reggie points out that Moose already bopped him for that last winter. Moose says he knows. As he's chasing Reggie, Moose says that he now has summer reruns on boppings.
• 5 Dive Drive +
  Archie, Reggie and Veronica are seen standing near a lake. Reggie tells Archie to jump in the lake, pointing to the lake. Veronica scolds him for this, but Archie says that it's ok, because Reggie is lending him his diving equipment to jump in the lake with.
• 6 Flower Power +
  Dilton, admiring a rose, tells Reggie that there's something about a rose that turns him on. Reggie agrees with Dilton, pointing out that he has three of them in his "l'il black book".
• 7 Game Aim +
  When Jughead hits his croquet ball into a nearby blueberry patch, Reggie tells Archie that Jughead is dumb for continuously doing this. Archie points out that Jughead isn't so dumb, as Jughead is seen enjoying the blueberries.
• 8 Door Score +
  When Archie tells Veronica that Reggie likes to see him crawl, Veronica tells him that it's only his imagination. Archie says it isn't, and points to what is assumed to be Reggie's house. Next to the main front door, there is a much smaller door, only a few inches high, with "Entrance for Archie" written on it.
• 9 Fool Rule +
  When Reggie says that only fools are always positive, Archie asks him if he's sure. When Reggie replies that he's positive, Archie walks off saying "It figures!", as Jughead laughs.
• 10 Checker Decker +
  Reggie is playing checkers with Moose on the beach, and tells Jughead that playing checkers with Moose is boring because he always has to tell Moose to crown him. In the next panel, Reggie whistles as Midge walks by. Moose then crowns Reggie with the checkerboard, to which Jughead replies "Not that time!"
• 11 Battle of Wits Script: Joe Edwards +
  In the midst of an argument with Greg, Charley asks if it's going to be a battle of wits. Greg replies by saying that Charley is brave to fight unarmed. When Charley angrily asks if Greg is calling him dumb, Greg says that he finally caught on. Charley then asks Greg if he would like to step outside and call him dumb, as he heads out the door. Greg says he would, and then promptly shuts and locks the door behind Charley. Greg then leans out the window and tells Charley that he (Greg) certainly isn't dumb, but he's definitely chicken.
• 12 Volley Folly +
  Reggie and Archie are playing a volleyball game on the beach, and Reggie keeps complaining about Archie's slow reaction times. Two men with metal detectors are walking by when one of the men's metal detectors starts buzzing. The man points this out to his friend, saying that there's some heavy metal nearby. Reggie tells the man to relax, saying that the heavy metal is only the lead in Archie's head.
• 13 Rink Fink +
  As Reggie skates around the rink with Veronica and Betty, he tells them about his dream the previous night where he hit four home runs. Veronica calls him an ego-tripper and says he's always dreaming about himself. Reggie says this isn't true and that both Betty and Veronica were in the dream as well - cheering him on.
• 14 Pane Refrain +
  Reggie has just painted a portrait of Archie. Veronica asks Reggie why he painted a pane of glass on Archie's neck. Reggie replies that it's "deep symbolism" - Archie is a pain in the neck.
• 15 Sad Lament +
  Reggie is sad because his neighbor is moving - not just because he hates to see an old friend move, but especially because his neighbor owed him 5 dollars.
• 16 Stuff Fluff +
  When Moose is unable to stuff the ball in the basket during basektball practice, Reggie laughs at him. Moose then tells Reggie that he can too stuff it - right down Reggie's throat!
• 17 Reflection Affection +
  Reggie and Marsha are out on a lake in a rowboat. Reggie asks Marsha to stop rowing, and she hopes he's going to put his arm around her. Reggie then comments that the rowing disturbs his reflection.
• 18 Turn Burn +
  Archie, Reggie and Jughead are out on the beach. Archie turns his head quickly to admire a girl named Debbie, and Jughead comments on how Archie's head really turns when he sees her. Reggie says that this is a coincidence - Debbie says her stomach turns green when she sees Archie.
• 19 The Pitcher +
  Archie causes Reggie to strike out by throwing him a screwball. Betty comments that Archie throws the best screwballs in the league. Reggie says that it figures - it takes one to throw one.
• 20 Bam Slam +
  Reggie tells Moose he's "on the level". Moose doesn't believe him, and punches Reggie. As Reggie is laying flat on his back on the beach, Jughead says that NOW he's on the level.
• 21 Skate State +
  Reggie informs Veronica that the skate park has hired him and Archie as instructors. When Veronica asks why they need two instructors, Reggie says that he teaches kids how to do stunts, while Archie teaches them how NOT to do stunts.
• 22 Quip Snip +
  Moose says that if he ever has a son, he hopes his son will grow up to be just like him. Reggie responds to this by saying "A chip off the ol' blockhead". The last panel shows Reggie running from a very angry Moose. Reggie is wondering aloud - when will he learn to keep his big fat mouth shut?
• 23 Dating Dilemma +
  Reggie comments to Jughead that he'd like to date Midge. When Jughead says that there are easier ways to commit suicide, Reggie tells Jughead that he isn't afraid of Moose (and thinks "especially when he's not around"). Midge tells Reggie not to hang around because Moose is in the area. Reggie tells Midge to forget that big ox and let him take her out. Midge asks Reggie how he can take her out when he's going to be in the hospital for the next three weeks. When Reggie asks since when is he going to be in the hospital, Midge says "since the big ox heard you ask me out".
• 24 Spurn Return +
  Reggie tosses a penny into a wishing well, saying that he'd like to score 50 points in the game against Central High. The penny is tossed out of the well, and a voice inside the well says that it doesn't grant wishes for a measly penny. As Reggie runs off screaming, Jughead is seen sticking halfway out of the well with water on the shoulder of his shirt saying "And that's the TRUTH!"
• 25 Rap Chap Pencils: Samm Schwartz +
  In the first panel, Reggie is seen dishing out a cheesy line to his date Susan - saying that her eyes are "like limpid pools of azure" and that her "ruby red lips" cast a hypnotic spell over him. As the continue walking, Susan points to a poster for an upcoming rock concert by the Rolling Pebbles and asks Reggie to take her. Reggie tells her that she doesn't want to go to that concert because there will be a big line at the box office. Susan replies saying that she's used to big lines - she dates Reggie, doesn't she?
• 26 Feet Feat +
  Standing in front of a poster advertising a championship fight between "Jake Hurricane" and "Victor Gorilla", Reggie dances around and punches the air. He tells Jughead and Archie that one day he's going to fight Moose, and that Moose won't lay a hand on him. In the next panel, he says that this is because he's light on his feet. Moose walks up behind Reggie and says "Is that so?". Reggie runs off terrified, and Archie says that Reggie was right - he IS quick on his feet.
• 27 Grid Kid +
  Reggie comments on Betty's shirt, which has a picture of Archie on it, saying that she isn't the only one who gets satisfaction from Archie's picture. When Betty asks if he has a picture of Archie on a shirt too, Reggie says no - just on his football, and kicks a football with a picture of Archie on it.
• 28 Vain Swain +
  Betty asks Gladys how her date with Reggie was. Glady says that Reggie took her in his arm, held her tight - and then told her how wonderful he was.
• 29 Noise Annoys +
  Archie is driving with Veronica, Betty and Reggie also in the car. Reggie, like usual, is busy bragging about himself, this time apparently talking about his performance at a football game. Archie stops in a service station and has apparently asked the attendant if they specialize in installing mufflers (an ad featuring a muffler called "The Silencer" is seen in the background). When the service station attendant says that they do specialize in installing mufflers, Archie asks if they have one that they can weld on Reggie.
• 30 Palm Balm +
  Reggie is a palm reader at a charity bazaar. When Archie asks Reggie how much it will cost to have Reggie read his future, Reggie says it won't cost him anything - he doesn't HAVE a future.
• 31 Loan Prone +
  Reggie is reading a book called "How to Improve Your Personality". Jughead tells Reggie that he's wasting his time with that book - after all, how can you improve on something that's already perfect? After hearing this, Reggie decides he will lend Jughead the $10 he asked to borrow after all.

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